


Hard As Ice, Soft As Snow

by scornedmedea



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depressed Derek Hale, First Kiss, Gratuitous Emotional Trauma, Happy Ending, Hurt Stiles, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, Supportive Stiles Stilinski, i made myself cry writing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-19 23:11:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18980275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scornedmedea/pseuds/scornedmedea
Summary: The jeep breaks down, stranding Stiles and Derek on a mountain in the middle of winter.





	Hard As Ice, Soft As Snow

The jeep loudly sputtered twice and then died. Stiles and Derek rolled a few feet before coming to a stop in the middle of the road.

“Come on, baby! You can do it,” Stiles said rubbing the dash lovingly and turning the key. Nothing happened.

Derek just furrowed his brow and sat in silence.

“Sorry.” Stiles ran a hand through his hair nervously. “The weather makes her a little finicky.”

Derek sighed and unbuckled his seatbelt.

“Don’t worry though! I am always prepared for such an occurrence!” Stiles leaned between the seats, reaching in the back of the jeep. He jerked back up with a roll of duct tape and a couple of tools. “I’ll have us back on the road in no time.”

Derek offered a not so reassuring grunt and then pulled out his phone.

Stiles hopped out of the jeep, shoes crunching in the small dusting of snow on the road. The cold mountain air bit into his lungs as he inhaled, making his eyes water. He pulled the hood of his hoodie over his head. 

While trees lined one side of the road, the other side gave way to a canyon, framing the snowy mountains in the distance against the gray sky. Stiles took a moment to enjoy the view before popping the hood and getting to work.

He heard the car door shut and turned around to see Derek standing off to the side. 

“How do you do that?”Stiles asked.

“Do what?” Derek returned flatly.

“Walk like that,” Stiles said, waving a wrench in Derek’s direction.

Derek grunted. “I just walk.”

“But you just pop up places. And when you do walk, it’s like you glide. I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen you move your legs.” Stiles cocked his head to the side. “Werewolves can totally levitate, can’t they?” he joked.

Derek shook his head in exasperation. “Does Isaac slide?”

“It’s glide, and I don’t know.”

“So you only watch me walk?” Derek lifted an eyebrow.

Stiles was silently thanking every god he’d ever heard of that his face was already red from the cold, even though he knew Derek didn’t need to see him blush to know Stiles was mortified. He was glad that Derek continued on like nothing had happened.

“Are you any closer to getting it running again?” Derek asked.

“Yep!” Stiles answered, slamming the hood down with a grin. “We should be good to go!”

“Good, because there isn’t any cell service up here, and I don’t feel like dying from exposure,” Derek said gruffly.

They both got back in the jeep and buckled their seatbelts. Stiles caressed the dash and whispered into the steering wheel before turning the key. The jeep made a few noises before giving up. Stiles tried the key again. The jeep didn’t respond at all. He slumped his head against the steering wheel.

“I knew I should have driven,” Derek said, voice tinged with annoyance. “We’re a two-hour drive away from anything but wilderness.”

Stiles huffed loudly. “You didn’t even have to come. I never asked you to.”

“Just because you’re stupid enough to hunt down some druidic priest that you’ve only read about, doesn’t mean I’m stupid enough to let you go alone.” Derek’s volume was climbing, and he felt completely out of control of it. He didn’t even know why he was so mad.

“I can take care of myself!” Stiles yelled back. “I am not a child!”

Derek’s eyes flashed red. “Then why am I here to babysit?”

Derek shrunk as soon as he said it. He knew he made a mistake, and he didn’t even mean it. He had wanted to come, to be alone with Stiles, even if he didn’t feel in control or know how to behave when he was. He could hear Stiles’s heartbeat speed up and his breathing deepen.

Stiles looked into Derek’s eyes intently, his own blazing with rage. “You. Are not. My. Alpha,” he hissed. He jerked the door open and pushed himself out of the seat. The seatbelt caught him and jerked him back into the jeep, causing him to yell a frustrated, “Fuck!”

He reached around and unbuckled the seatbelt, freeing himself and slamming the jeep door behind him. He walked around it, towards the woods, so angry that he didn’t even feel the cold. He heard the passenger door close as he reached the tree line.

“Where are you going?” Derek asked, walking toward him.

“For a walk,” Stiles said shortly. He turned and headed into the trees.

“Stiles,” Derek paused, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

Stiles ignored him and kept walking.

“Stiles, you need to calm down. It’s not safe for you to go wandering into the woods in the middle of nowhere. You’re going to wind up freezing to death.”

Stiles stopped abruptly. Taking a deep breath, he turned around, angrier than Derek had ever seen him. “I am so tired of you and your petty alpha bullshit. When you said you wanted to come with me, I thought that maybe, just maybe you actually liked me. But you don’t. And you never will, because you don’t like anybody, Derek. You don’t like me, you don’t like Scott, and you don’t like your own pack. Hell, you don’t even like yourself.”

Derek flinched at the Stiles’s words.

“I’ve got news for you, asshole. You don’t own me. I am not your property, so you can stop trying to protect me like I’m some kind of resource for you to use up and then throw away when it’s not useful anymore. I have risked my life over and over and over again for you and your asshole of a pack, even after you do stupid shit like trying to kill Lydia or physically abuse me. And you still can’t treat me like a person.” Tears welled up in Stiles’s eyes.

“I’m done, Derek. When we get back, I am done trying with you. As long as Beacon Hills is still a supernatural cluster fuck, I know I won’t be able to completely avoid you, but I refuse to continue caring about someone who’s so interested in torturing themselves, that they have to torture everyone around them too.” 

Stiles disappeared among the trees, leaving Derek alone with the jeep and his thoughts. 

Derek kept turning Stiles’s words over in his head. He knew that Stiles was mostly right, but he didn’t know what to do about it. He didn’t know how to fix it. He was pacing back and forth by the jeep, wearing a trail in the snow on the ground. 

Panic ate him up from all sides. What if Stiles never forgave him? What if Stiles got hurt because Derek wasn’t around to protect him? What if Stiles got killed by the next monster of the week? What if Stiles died out here, in these woods, with Derek standing right there?

Almost like a response to his thoughts, Derek heard Stiles scream and then a loud crack. His eyes burned bright red, and his wolf took over completely. There was only one thought in his mind. _Protect Stiles._

Derek partially shifted and sprinted through the trees, following Stiles’s scent. The scent disappeared once he exited the tree line at a frozen-over river. He looked around frantically, his one thought having become a feeling, a compulsion he couldn’t ignore. _Protect Stiles._

Every cell in his body needed him to find Stiles. To his left, hidden under an outcropping of tree branches, was a hole in the ice surrounded by a web of cracks. _Protect Stiles._

With complete disregard for whether or not the ice would support his weight, Derek lept onto it and pressed his face against it, looking for Stiles through it. He swept snow away with his hands trying to get a better view while scrambling down the ice on his hands and knees.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a smear of red under the ice. Jumping over, he pushed the snow away to see Stiles floating, unconscious right underneath. 

He slammed his fist into the ice repeatedly. _Protect Stiles. Protect Stiles._ A small crack appeared beneath the blood his knuckles left. _Protect Stiles._ Derek lifted his hands over his head, and with a roar, brought them down onto the ice. A large chunk in front of him split into pieces, allowing him to reach through and pluck out Stiles.

Derek rushed Stiles’s limp body back to the shore. Feeling his wolf cede control, the panic returned. Stiles’s face was ghostly pale. His lips and the tips of his fingers were blue. He was so cold to the touch. Too cold. Even in the quiet of the woods, Derek could barely hear a heartbeat.

Derek placed his hands on Stiles’s chest and began CPR. He whispered, “Please don’t die. I don’t want that to be the last thing we say to each other.”

Stiles’s fingers twitched a little, which imbued Derek with the spark of hope he needed to keep going. “Stiles, get your ass back here. You survived hunters, a kanima, homicidal alphas, and a dark druid. An icy river is not going to be the thing to take you out. You wake the fuck up, right now!”

As if on cue, Stiles shot up, choking as water fell out of his mouth. His eyes were wide as Derek threw his arms around him, pulling him into an embrace. 

Coming back to his sense, Derek jerked away from Stiles. “Are you okay?”

Stiles’s teeth were chattering so loudly, it sounded like they might break. He nodded.

“We need to get you back to the jeep. Can you walk?” 

Stiles nodded again. He stood up slowly. He took a step and stumbled onto his knees.

Derek placed a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay. I can carry you.”

Stiles avoided looking at Derek’s face, but he nodded regardless.

Derek slipped an arm under Stiles’s legs and scooped him up. He could feel Stiles go rigid in his arms. The vibrations from his teeth chattering moving through Derek’s whole body. He started back to the jeep, winding through the trees and holding Stiles as close to his body as possible.

When they got back to the jeep, Derek lightly stood Stiles next to it while he shuffled around. “You need to get out of the wet clothes. Do you have anything to wear in the jeep?”

“Maybe. Back.” Stiles motioned to the rear of the jeep. It seemed hard for him to speak with his teeth clanging against one another.

Derek popped open the back of the jeep. A thin blanket and a lacrosse stick were the only things there. “There aren’t any clothes, but there is a blanket.” He looked around at Stiles. He could hear his heart beating slow and faint, but distinct among the sounds of the forest. “It’s not going to keep you warm, but it’s better than the wet clothes,” he said more to himself than Stiles.

Stiles nodded and started trying to peel off his hoodie. He fumbled for a few seconds, unable to unstick the sweatshirt from his body in his weakened state. 

Derek frowned softly and closed the distance between them. He placed his fingers gently on the hem of the hoodie and looked up at Stiles.

Stiles seemed to get that Derek was asking for permission and nodded. 

Derek focused intently on the task as he peeled Stiles’s sweatshirt from his body, slowly lifting it over his head. He dropped it to the ground with a wet slap as he moved onto Stiles’s shirt, repeating the process. Derek’s eyes caught on the pattern of moles that lined Stiles’s side, working their way up to the constellation he secretly loved on his neck. Derek jerked his eyes away, realizing he was staring. The shirt hit the ground with the same wet slap.

Stiles stared off into the forest like he wasn’t even present in his body anymore, just an empty shell, completely unaware of what was happening around him.

Once the shirt was removed, Derek shrugged off his jacket and placed it over Stiles’s shoulders. 

Stiles gave Derek a puzzled look. “You’ll. Freeze.”

“I’ll be fine. Werewolves run hot.” He smiled at Stiles, trying to look as reassuring as possible while he zipped it up. Derek paused, unsure of how best to handle the next part. “I need to get those too,” he said motioning to Stiles’s pants.

Stiles stared at him with his mouth clamped so tightly shut that it had completely cut off the chattering of his teeth. He nodded at Derek and then closed his eyes, screwing them shut.

Derek placed his hand on the side of Stiles’s neck and felt him involuntarily lean into the warm touch. “Stiles.”

Stiles didn’t move.

“Hey,” Derek said gently.

Stiles opened his eyes but refused to look at Derek’s face.

“I know I’ve been a real dick, and I understand and deserve it if you don’t want to see me again after this. But I promise I only want to help. You don’t have to be embarrassed or afraid.” He felt Stiles eyes moving to look into his. “You can trust me. I promise.”

Stiles bored a hole through Derek with his eyes. “Always. Trusted you,” he said weakly.

Derek felt a tightness in his chest loosen and his stomach flipped over. He knelt down and slowly unbuttoned Stiles’s jeans and pulled them to his ankles, the weight of the wet denim making it easy to unstick them from his legs. He looked up at Stiles, who was watching him in a way that made Derek both uncomfortable and feel like he had electricity running through his veins. 

He nodded knowingly at Derek.

Derek slipped his fingers under the waistband of Stiles’s boxers without taking his eyes off of Stiles’s face. He felt him tense as he pulled them down to his ankles, taking time to keep them from sticking to his legs as much as possible.

Derek stood and wrapped the blanket around Stiles and lifted him up onto the back seat of the jeep. He knelt down again and took Stiles’s foot in his hand. He watched Stiles watching him as he untied his shoe. He was overly gentle, treating the laces like they would break if he moved too fast. Once the knot was undone, Derek slid the shoe off without taking his eyes off of Stiles’s. He pulled the jeans, boxers, and sock off and helped Stiles tuck his foot underneath the blanket. Derek took Stiles’s other foot and repeated the process, gently untying the shoe and removing it without looking away from Stiles’s face.

He grabbed Stiles’s wet clothes and placed them in the floorboard of the front seat before climbing into the back and seating himself next to Stiles. 

Stiles pushed himself over to make room for Derek, leaning up against the door on the other side. 

Derek closed the door behind him and started taking off his shoes.

“What are you doing?” Stiles asked.

Derek smiled at his reclaimed ability to speak in full sentences, noticing that his heartbeat was still slower than it should have been, but it was no longer as weak as it was. “You need to keep your feet warm,” he said as he slipped off his socks and held out his hand to Stiles.

“Derek,” was all Stiles could say.

Derek smiled as Stiles acquiesced and removed his foot from under the blanket. Derek took it in his hand and slid it over Stiles’s icy foot. Stiles twitched at the contact with Derek’s warm fingers but quickly offered him the other foot. 

Derek slipped the other sock on, and Stiles pulled his feet back under the blanket. 

They sat there in silence for a long time, leaning against their respective doors. Stiles watched Derek as Derek watched the woods without actually seeing anything. The sun was low enough now, that it was hard for Stiles to see very far outside of the jeep.

“You don’t have to pout, you know,” Stiles said. “As much as I’d like to want to never see you again, I don’t. I would have been mad for a week and then shown up at your place at two in the morning again. Who else is going to watch bad horror movies with me?”

Derek turned to look at Stiles, and Stiles felt his breath hitch. Derek looked like he was about to break. All the hard lines were gone from his face, and his eyes were red and glassy like he’d been fighting off crying for a while. 

He had only ever seen Derek look so vulnerable one other time. He had no idea why Derek had come to him, but late one night, Derek had crawled in his window, clawed to hell, and told him about how his family died. How he had killed his family. Stiles listened quietly as he cleaned Derek’s wounds, unsure of what to say. He had wanted to shake Derek and tell him that it wasn’t his fault. He had wanted to leave right then and rip Kate to pieces, but Derek seemed to settle into the silence, so Stiles let him.

They had taken turns after that. They would talk about the things that haunted them while the other sat in silence, listening without judgment until the sun came up.

He wasn’t going to be able to be silent this time. Not when he knew he was going to freeze to death on this mountain. “What’s wrong?” he asked 

Derek wordlessly turned back to the window.

He scrambled to the space between them, careful to keep everything below his neck wrapped in the blanket. “Derek, what’s going on?”

Derek just shrugged without looking at him.

Stiles lifted his hand to touch Derek’s face but hesitated and lowered it back under the blanket. “Derek, please,” he begged. “Please just talk to me.”

“I lose everyone I care about,” Derek said softly, voice cracking. “It’s always my fault.”

“Look at me.” Stiles placed his hand on Derek’s warm cheek. 

The shock from his cold touch made Derek jump, but he allowed Stiles to maneuver his face so they were staring at each other.

“What happened to your family was not your fault. You are not even slightly responsible for what that monster did. And from what I’ve heard, your mother would be pissed if she knew you were being so hard on yourself.” Stiles dropped his hand to Derek’s and squeezed his fingers gently. “You deserve to have people care about you. You deserve to be happy, Derek. You just have to let yourself.”

Derek blinked slowly. “You’re so cold.” He grabbed Stiles’s other hand so that he was holding both of his hands inside his own.

“That tends to be what happens when you’re half naked and stranded on a mountain in winter.” Stiles smiled and knew it didn’t look as confident as he wanted it to.

“I’m sorry,” Derek said solemnly.

“I told you. I’m over our little fight. We’re cool now.” Stiles chuckled weakly at his own joke.

Derek shook his head. “I appreciate you trying to make me feel better.”

Stiles scooted closer to him so that their sides were touching. “That sounds like there was a ‘but’ implied.”

“I can hear your heart slowing down, Stiles.” Derek’s head dropped and he stared at the floorboard. He muttered to himself, “I kill everyone that gets close to me.”

Stiles stared at him with his mouth open, processing everything. “You..” he trailed off. “You were talking about me?”

Derek cautioned a glance at him and went back to staring at his feet.

“You didn’t do this,” Stiles said softly. “It’s my jeep that broke down.”

“You almost drowned because I was such an ass that you needed to get away from me.” He could feel Stiles trembling from the cold against his side. “And I saved you just so you could die slowly, trapped in this car with me.” The first tear slipped down his face. “I’m so sorry.”

“Will you look at me? For just a minute.” Stiles was tugging gently on his hands.

Derek obliged and sat, up looking into Stiles’s eyes.

“I want you to listen to what I’m about to say, and I want you to commit it to memory. When this is over, I want you to play it over and over in your head until you finally get your shit together.” 

Derek nodded.

“No matter what happens on this godforsaken mountain, it’s not your fault.” Stiles stoccatoed his words and spoke slowly. “I do not blame you now, and I will not blame you if I die. You are not allowed to spend the rest of your life torturing yourself over me. You saved me and took care of me, so even if I don’t make it, you tried, and I will always be so grateful for that.”

They were both crying now as Derek and Stiles both reached out to pull the other into an embrace at the same time. Stiles’s cold body stung against Derek’s skin, but Stiles instinctively leaned into the warmth. 

“Here,” Derek said wiping his eyes and pulling away. He unbuttoned his pants and lifted himself up off the seat to slide them down.

“Derek, it’s not going to do us any good for both of us to freeze to death,” Stiles said.

“I’ll last a lot longer in the cold than you will.” He handed them to Stiles. “So just take them. Please.”

Stiles lifted them out of Derek’s hands, eyes drawn to the way Derek’s bare legs were angled against the front seat. He sat there without moving for several seconds, just staring.

Derek cleared his throat.

“Sorry,” Stiles said as he slipped the pants underneath the blanket and pulled them up his legs.

Derek smiled without realizing it, and Stiles smiled back at him. 

“Seeing as I’m wearing all of your clothes other than your underwear and t-shirt, would you like to share the blanket?” Stiles offered.

Derek nodded and moved under where Stiles was holding up a side for him.

“Can I—” Derek cut himself off.

Stiles turned his head and regarded Derek with a puzzled expression.

“Never mind.” Derek slumped a little under the blanket.

“Dude, you were on your knees taking off my underwear a few hours ago. You can pretty much do whatever. You can definitely ask at least.” Stiles grabbed his hand underneath the blanket.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to—” he paused, looking for the right way to word his request. “If you wanted me to hold you. I’m cold, but I think I’m warm to you right now.”

Stiles nodded enthusiastically and was practically in Derek’s lap before he finished talking.

Derek adjusted him so that they were both lying down across the seat, Stiles’s face buried in Derek’s chest. Their legs were angled up against the window, both of them taller than the jeep was wide.

He ran a hand through Stiles’s hair enjoying the way that their scents were mingling, especially with Stiles wearing Derek’s clothes. 

Stiles nuzzled into Derek’s neck, humming contentedly, and Derek’s wolf went wild. Derek opened his mouth to speak but snapped it shut with an audible pop.

Stiles broke away for a second to look at Derek’s face. “I know what that face means. What are you thinking?”

Derek paused, unsure if he should answer. “That I want to tell you. I want to say it. I’m just terrified of what happens after.” Derek surprised himself. He had never admitted to being afraid to anyone since his family died. 

Stiles wrapped his arms around Derek’s torso and pulled them together as tightly as he could. “You know how I’m the most stubborn person you’ve ever met? Like how no man, beast, or god can tell me what to do?” he asked.

Derek chuckled. “Yeah.”

“I’ll make you a deal. I promise you that if you say it, I won’t go anywhere. I won’t leave, and I won’t die here. I will keep my heart beating in this icicle of a jeep out of pure spite. Because I’m in love with you, and I straight up refuse to die right after you tell me that I have a chance with someone like you.”

Derek crinkled his eyebrows. “You...” He couldn’t finish the sentence.

“You heard me. I’m in love with you, Derek. Now, what are you going to do about it?” 

Derek craned his neck forward to kiss Stiles on the lips. It was quick and effortless and so full of feeling that he was afraid it’d burn right through him. “I love you, Stiles.”

“That’s all I wanted to hear.” Stiles pressed his face up against Derek’s neck again and relaxed his body against him.

Derek focused on the feel of Stiles’s hot breath against his neck in order to distract himself from listening to his slowing heart.

***

A pain in his neck jarred Derek awake. He twisted his head so that it wasn’t on the door handle anymore. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, and now he had no idea what time it was or how long it had been. His feet were sticking out of the blanket, and they were painfully numb.

Stiles was draped over him, far colder than he had been when they’d first laid down. The lack of a heartbeat other than his own hit Derek like a train. 

“Stiles! Stiles!” Derek slipped out from under him and started shaking him. 

Stiles’s body was limp and completely unresponsive. “You promised!” Derek yelled as he tried to start Stiles’s heart by pumping his chest repeatedly. 

It only took a few seconds before Stiles’s eyes fluttered open. His eyes rolled in his head.

“Stiles. Hey. Hey!” Derek tried to get his attention.

Stiles laid there unresponsive, breathing shallowly now. Derek could hear Stiles’s heartbeat faintly in the silence of the jeep.

He pulled Stiles to him, holding him tightly against his chest. “Please don’t do this. Please don’t do this to me,” he whimpered. “I need you.”

Derek sat there holding Stiles for what felt like an eternity, rocking back and forth as he felt Stiles get even colder, shallow breaths barely warm against his skin. He was too upset to cry. Too upset to do anything other than follow Stiles into the dark. He had already decided that once Stiles was gone, he would open the windows of the jeep and go back to sleep, not waking up in a world without the only person he’d ever really loved.

The bright light made Derek squint as it shone through the back window of the jeep. Derek felt his heart jump. Just like that, every bit of hope he’d lost flooded back into his body and took root. He felt his wolf reacting too. _Protect Stiles._

The vehicle drove by their jeep and kept going. 

Derek started yelling, even though he knew that the driver couldn’t hear him. He threw the front half of his body into the front of the jeep, pulling on the levers next to the steering wheel, but nothing happened. Derek was getting frantic and slapped at the lever on the other side. A clicking sound echoed through the jeep as the left turn blinker lit up and flashed.

Bright red lights lit up the windshield as the vehicle braked in front of them. 

Derek turned back and lifted Stiles up and held him against his chest. “You did it! You made it. There’s someone here, and we can get you warm.” He was talking to Stiles even though he knew he couldn’t hear him. “I love you so much. Thank you. Thank you for staying. Thank you,” he repeated over and over again.

There was a knock on the driver’s side window. Derek moved Stiles to the other side of the seat, careful to keep his head from hitting the window. He opened the door and tried to step out, but his bare feet hit the snow, and he collapsed onto the ground.

An older man grabbed his arm and helped him up and into the jeep, so his feet would remain off of the ground. “Son, are you okay?” 

“We broke down. He needs help.” Derek panted.

He looked at Derek wearing only a henley and a pair of underwear and peeked inside the jeep to see half-dead Stiles. “The nearest hospital is a couple of hours away, but my cabin is only a few miles from here. We can get him stable, and then I can get you guys to a hospital.” 

“Thank you.” Derek slipped his shoes on from the floorboard without tying the laces. He wrapped Stiles as thoroughly in the blanket as he could and picked him up.

“Do you need help carrying him?” the man asked.

Derek shook his head and carried Stiles away from the jeep, setting him in the backseat of the man’s truck. He climbed in next to him, wrapping the blanket around both of them and holding him close. He could feel the air from the heater blasting against his exposed skin. It almost burned.

The man hopped in the driver’s seat and the truck continued down the road. 

Derek could hear Stiles’s heartbeat getting louder. He smiled and kissed Stiles’s forehead. “Thank you,” he said softly to him. 

“Welcome,” Stiles whispered weakly.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! You can find me on Tumblr at [scornedmedea](https://scornedmedea.tumblr.com/)


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